Not only is it more cost effective to fly out of NYC to Madrid, but who doesn't want an excuse to be inspired by the most magical city in the US? Even though I was still an emotional wreck, I tried to have a good time and somewhat succeeded. I managed to snag free tickets to Shannon and The Clams where I was stood up, I shot/styled my very first photo shoot with a dress I designed and I cried on the ferry from Brooklyn to Manhattan as if I was migrating to Ellis Island.
I ate good food, saw cool art, thrifted yellow suspenders and bought a Larry David pin but I knew something was missing. It wasn't as magical as my last trip to NYC which so happened to be with my ex boyfriend where I was planning the breakup before we even left. Was it because I was counting down the minutes until I would no longer be in the US? Or was it because I continue to get let down by people that I care about the most? My anxiety was the worst it had ever been and it wasn't until an hour before I departed when things started to fizzle down. I was on the phone with the man of my dreams, which at the time felt like the last American I would ever speak to, and was given a piece of mind. The sound of his voice gave me comfort and confidence to not be afraid of what has yet to come which was making my heart wanting to jump out of my chest and run to the trash. The last 10 days had been an emotional nightmare but it just took 1 phone call to escape me from my dreams.